How to Lose a Friend

You meet. You hate each other at first. You find a mutual thing to hate that’s not one another. You click and become best friends. You text 24/7. You hang out after school. You share songs and mix CDs with one another. You make each other laugh with jokes only you two would understand. You share private details about your crushes. You make up nicknames for everyone and only refer to people by those names in the notes you pass to one another. You stick up for each other even in the stupidest of fights. You get to know each other’s families. Your friend groups blend into one. 

One of you moves, you still keep in touch. You see each other once a year at most, but it’s okay. You reunite and it’s like the time apart never existed. One of you goes to college. The other is proud and supportive. You both meet up on holidays and reminisce over dinner. Your conversations are focused more in the past tense than present. The one in college returns to school and stays away a little longer than before. You both enter serious relationships; one of you gets hurt, the other is too far away for consolation. You converse less, birthdays at most. You reach out to make plans but someone is always too busy. 

You’re in the same city, but neither has the nerve to reach out. You both enter new relationships, romantic and friendship alike. Your circles widened, your social distances furthered. You wish each other the best meaningfully, but never tell the other how you feel. “They’re living their life,” you say. “If they wanted to keep in touch they would,” you say. He says, she says, but nothing is ever said to the other. Your communication is diminished to an emoji, a double tap of a picture, a like of a post. You watch from the distance how the other is living their life without you; comfortably at that. You realize you’re just people watching at best.

You grow up and grow apart. You see pictures from the past and smile. One person misses the other just a bit more. You accept life is change but change isn’t always good. You wish them well from afar. You wish you were friends again.